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Louis CK is painfully relatable. I relate to him and I am the complete and total opposite of him. I am a single, black female in her 20’s, with no children. Yet some how, I find myself watching his TV shows and standup, feeling like he is is my best friend. He is brutally honest about the world around him, and that is something I connect to. It was somewhere between feeling pity for him and his amazing ability to fuck up every good opportunity that comes into his life, and adoring his dopey hazel eyes that i realized I’d totally bone him if given the chance. For sneaking a crush under the door and into my life, I say Eff you Louis CK.

Here at the suite, we love ourselves some men. Particularly intelligent, charismatic, attractive men who destroy our lives and make us question our very existence. They usually have charming smiles and sparkly eyes that could charm the pants off Condoleezza Rice. But every once in a while we find ourselves attracted to a less “traditional” style of male. Like a divorced, balding father of two.

He’s gotta know that a man that can raise and protect two little girls is disgustingly sexy.

If you aren’t familiar with Louis CK, I suggest moving the rock from whence you crawled, and enlightening yourself. He hilarious, incredibly witty, and insightful. Its hard not to melt while watching him look after his daughters on his hit show Louie. Week after week you see him in awkward situations ranging from dating, bizarre sexual encounters, and trying to find work as a comedian while staying true to himself.  It was after Episode 6 of season 2, where he confesses his love for his friend Pamela, that i officially wanted to hurl my box of chocolates, Elle Woods style at the TV and shout at his beautiful transition into my heart as an official crush. View that magic through a shitty Youtube vid here:

And as if watching him be all loveable and exposed on his TV show wasn’t enough,  he has taken on Ticketmaster and their bullying ways by booking a tour where they’re not involved…meaning no crazy service charges! Swoooon. He also took on pirating, by selling his Beacon theater special for FIVE BUCKS. After making a million dollar profit, he personally wrote a letter to his fans, letting him know just what he was doing with that money. He used a quarter of it to pay for what the special and his website cost to produce, a quarter of it went to bonuses for his staff, a little more than a quarter went to charities, and he kept a little less than a quarter for himself. Lets just throw this into the pot of Louis-is-awesome-stew: he seems to lack greed, which puts him into a category with mother Teresa as far as I’m concerned.

Fuck off Ticketmaster!

Little known fact: Louis is actually Mexican, and Spanish was his first language. I am waiting with baited breath for him to bust out some Spanish during an interview, or hell, even do a special in Spanish. Louis, if you are reading this, please make this happen. I can hear the sound of panties dropping now. But more importantly Louie, keep doing what you’re doing. Its your raw, fearlessly honest perspective, that always leaves us wanting more.

There are a lot of “classic” movies I haven’t seen. A disturbing amount, even. It doesn’t help that this list is continually growing, as evidenced by Empire’s 500 Greatest Movies of All Time. I felt more and more like a pop culture failure with every click through the list. So in honor of summer, and awesomeness, and doing something fun, I am creating “Shady’s Summer Cinema Challenge.” It is not 500 movies long (I have a job to go to), nor was there any rigorous criteria in making this list. I chose these movies based entirely off of what I wanted to see the most. It should be noted though, that I have not seen any of these before. So if your favorite movie didn’t make the list, it may be because I’ve seen it already. Also, I left off any movies that have a book that I intend to read.

I’m requiring that I finish all of these movies before Labor Day and, on top of these films, I must also fit in all the most highly anticipated new summer movies, as well as summer television. Also I’ve made a similar list of summer books to read. And I just started taking Tae Kwon Do. So we’ll see how much fun I’m having with this list in two months. I’ll provide updates to my progress, as well some thoughts/reviews along the way.

If you see a movie on here that you just can’t believe I haven’t seen, please shut your mouth. Your incredulity will not undo the past. These are listed in no particular order.

Casablanca
Some Like It Hot
The Seven Year Itch
Cat on a Hot Tin Roof
Guys and Dolls
Gone with the Wind
Godfather (I & II)
Reservoir Dogs
Pulp Fiction
Ben Hur
Jailhouse Rock
Brick
Breakfast at Tiffany’s
Rebel Without a Cause
Enter the Dragon
Le Doulos
Dog Day Afternoon
Akira
The Lost Boys
To Have and Have Not
The Double Life of Véronique
Hard Days Night
Do the Right Thing
Mean Streets
Kids
Cabaret
Natural Born Killers
Predator
Some Like it Hot
Bugsy Malone
Citizen Kane
Trainspotting
Scarface
The Misfits
The Exorcist
Bride of Frankenstein
Dirty Harry
2001: A Space Odyssey
A Bout De Souffle
Blazing Saddles
Rear Window
Annie Hall
The Graduate
It’s a Wonderful Life
M
Boogie Nights
Sophie’s Choice
The Red Shoes
Cool Hand Luke
Close Encounters of the Third Kind
Animal House
Rambo: First Blood
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
Field of Dreams
Taxi Driver
Dr. Strangelove
The Good, The Bad & The Ugly
The 400 Blows
Dolce Vita
8 ½
Lawrence of Arabia
The Outlaw Josey Wales
Midnight Cowboy
Flesh
Amélie
National Velvet
Gentlemen Prefer Blondes
Strangers on a Train
39 Steps
His Girl Friday
Woman of the Year
Bonnie and Clyde
The Way We Were
Jules Et Jim
The Seventh Seal
Fatal Attraction
All About Eve
The Gold Rush
Maltese Falcon
American Graffiti
Roman Holiday
Pandora’s Box
Funny Face
Rebecca
Das Boot
THE GREAT ROMERO TRILOGY
The Secret Life of Walter Mitty
The Wicker Man (original)
Die Hard

Today, on a very special edition of EffThatGuy: Tom Motherfucking Hiddleston.

Tom Hiddleston smiling

Tom Hiddleston being casually sexy

Tom Hiddleston as Loki

I mean, if he asked me to kneel, I’d probably do it. Sorry, Captain America.

Of course, The Avengers was the greatest movie of all time ever. It was well-written and well-directed and lovely to look at, and it had a lot of other positive elements, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say that much of my enjoyment came from the fact that EVERYONE IN THAT MOVIE IS SO BEAUTIFUL AND AMAZING OH MY GOD.

While the Chrisses (Hemsworth and Evans), R.D.J. and Jeremy Renner are all incomparable in their own ways, the girls and I have been living and breathing Hiddleston-love. Really, there has never been anyone not named Ryan Gosling who has unified us so intensely on the issue of bang-ability. In honor of our mutual enthusiasm, I have decided to take this installment to the next level and extoll Tom’s virtues not through prose, but through song.

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