Premature Christmas-ulation

Ah, it’s that time of year. It’s getting colder outside, it’s after Halloween, and it looks like Christmas ejaculated all over everything.

Holiday Spirit splooged all over this house.

Now don’t get me wrong, I love Christmas. I love everything to do with Christmas – twinkle lights, evergreen trees, ornaments, the Baby Jesus, presents, red cups at Starbucks, overly sentimental music, snow, cookies, etc – but I feel like there’s a limit to how much Christmas Spirit I can muster up per year, and with the Christmas Season starting earlier and earlier every year, I’m afraid that my Christmas-O-Meter may run dry before the big day. After all, my Holiday Cheer can only handle so many accidental run-ins with that Christmas Shoes song (it’s just emotional manipulation, and I resent that).

If I wanted to cry at Christmas, I'd just watch Rudolph again.

I am a firm believer that the Christmas Season shouldn’t start until the day after Thanksgiving. That gives me approximately a month to celebrate the hell out of the hap-happiest season of all. A month is the perfect amount of time to listen to Amy Grant’s Christmas albums on repeat, the perfect amount of time to overindulge in seasonal baked goods, the perfect amount of time to spend worrying that you might not have gotten the perfect gift for that special someone. I mean, can anyone handle hearing The First Noel for longer than a month at a time? Can anyone eat 7 cookies a day for longer than a month at a time? Can anyone handle that level of stress for longer than a month at a time? (If you can, you are my personal hero.)

Too many of these and your New Years resolution will be that much harder to achieve.

So this is my petition to put Christmas back where it belongs – firmly between Thanksgiving and New Years. Shake off the consumerist idea that Christmas starts after Halloween, and find yourself free to enjoy all that Thanksgiving music (just kidding… is there actually any Thanksgiving music out there?).

But I won't give up my red cups.

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