It’s an age old tradition, dating as far back as junior year of high school (which is really about as far back as I can personally remember in my “adult” life). Boys try it. Men achieve it – some easier than others. Some are thicker than others. All are the inevitable result of this month’s greatest contribution to society. They are beards, and they’re here because it’s No-Shave November. Men everywhere join together in solidarity, rejoicing in unison, “You don’t own me, razor! I’m a free mountain man!”
I don’t ever actually wish I could grow a beard to participate in this bonding ritual, but I do envy the unity it brings to that group of people (that is, post-pubescent males). But why should they have all the fun? Surely there are other things to say no to this month for the ladies. Here, I list my five personal favorite examples.
- No-Pants November: Do not wear a single pair of pants for 30 days*. This is actually a useful one in getting together a practical skirt/dress collection for fall! You know, feminine outfits for fall, since most of your dresses are cheap kimono sundresses from Target. I mean, if you’re anything like me. Exception: one pair of leggings, to be used sparingly. (Note: Add a strategically placed “ie” to the challenge title and spice things up a lot.
- No-Booze November: No alcoholic beverages for 30 days. Don’t get it twisted. This is not an inherently difficult challenge; Neither I nor anyone I know drink daily by any means. But one weekend will roll around, and you will want to get tanked with your friends. And you will have to exercise incredible self-control and volunteer to DD. Stay home a lot, learn to knit, and read romance novels. The month will fly by. Exception: a celebratory glass of champagne, should the occasion ever arise where one is offered to you. It’s simply rude to decline
- No-Sex November: Do not engage in any intimate activity** with another person for 30 days. Reclaim the celibacy of your teenage years and do a sex-cleanse. Your mind may wind up all the clearer. Exception: one poor indiscretion in the first week of the month is allowed as a means of strengthening resolve.
- No-Shave November – Leg Edition: Do not shave your legs for 30 days straight. May easily be paired with challenge #3 to ensure its success.
- No-Lies November: Tell the full truth for 30 days. This is just good practice, and you might end up surprised at how many lies you tell every day. Exception: When your mother or significant other asks you if they look okay. A little personal challenge isn’t worth any hurt feelings! (But, I mean, be as honest as possible…
So that’s it! Five ways you can put the no in November, if you’re beard-challenged. Which will you take part in? Two of us here at the suite will let you know how we do as we take on challenges 3 and 4 on our own. Good luck! And just say no!
*If you want to try any challenges this year, you can just go until the end of the month. We won’t get too nit-picky. Like Michael said to the man in the mirror, make that change!
**Intimate activity may be defined however you personally choose.