The Drunk Palate

The night is coming to a close. Bar tabs are being closed, old songs that piss you off are being played, it’s time to go home and pass out, when you are hit by THE HUNGER. Pizza? Burritos? A fast food drive-through? It doesn’t matter much, but It’s gotta be something because if not, the hangover from the fifth level of hell will be waiting for you in the morning. You know you’ve got some fruit in the fridge at home, and possibly some pasta in the cupboard, but after the cab ride home, you know the only place you’re going is straight to your bed. And you need HOT, GREASY, food in your belly RIGHT NOW.

You and your friends decide on the local Mexican joint open super late, and you order the cheesiest, guacamole-iest, salsa-iest thing on the menu. You take a bite. You chew. You look down at the delicious concoction in your hand, and it is as though Zeus himself is back there in that kitchen, and shortly he will be bringing you ambrosia. All of these flavors! All of these textures!  You become temporarily possessed by Padma Lakshmi and MUST judging contestants to be the next Top Chef.

"It's time to pack your knives".

I don’t know what it is. I don’t know why it is that being drunk suddenly makes food SO GOOD. Food is delicious on its own. Throw in a few rum and cokes, and BAM, Mario Batali MUST have secretly just bought this pizzeria cause it is waaay too good. Even your local fast food drive through “must have just made those fries fresh because they never taste this good”.

This man knows everything there is to know about Italian cooking.

I’ve found myself at some of these eats sober, and most of the time, the food was muy disappointing. It may actually not be that bad, but sadly it will never taste as good as it does after too many beers.

So instead of asking your friends how you got so drunk tonight, ask them where you’re going to eat when you leave, and prepare yourself for the best meal of your life. Your hangover will thank you in the morning.

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