FML: Crying at Work

As I’ve mentioned in my How To Make It In America Post, I’m a recent transplant to NYC. During the time it’s taking me to save up for my own apartment, I’m staying with my great-aunt on my father’s side. She’s a nice enough woman, she just happens to be an inherent nagger. She’s raised a ton of kids, her own and others, so she’s strict and doesn’t leave much room for negotiation. This only becomes a problem when you remember that I’m newly an adult and don’t take kindly to being told what to do or how to do it.

To say that my aunt’s house is full of characters would be an understatement. All six of her grown children have a different attitude problem, and they also ALL HAVE KEYS TO HER APARTMENT. As do her 50 billion grandkids. My bedroom, which I pay rent for, does not lock. The door doesn’t even close all the way. Every time I SEE my aunt, she tells me to do something for her. Menial tasks, usually, but it’s become such a problem that I try to avoid her as much as possible for fear of being sent to the store first thing on Saturday morning.

"Oh hey, were you knocked the fuck out? Did I wake you up by screaming your name? Well now that you'r up, run to the store and buy me some paper plates."

As I’ve also mentioned before, my job does not bring me the joy I had hoped for. I love the people I work with, especially my boss, but the work itself is painful beyond measure. Mostly because it’s bitchwork. Schedule this meeting, fill in this spreadsheet, spend 40 minutes writing an email so it doesn’t contain any language that insults the client. This morning when I woke up it felt like any other day of the week. Little did I know that these little things compounded with my living situation would turn into an avalanche of tears sometime around 3PM.

8:20AM I oversleep, leaving me no time to work out or take a shower. My commute takes 40 minutes.

8:50AM After pulling on clothes and brushing my teeth as quickly as possible and making a run for the door my aunt calls me back from running out the door so I could clean toothpaste off the faucet, telling me that she “[doesn’t] do things like that.” The toothpaste was so miniscule I actually didn’t even see what I cleaned off the faucet.


9:00AM After being lucky enough to have the train come quickly, I was forced to share space with someone who lacks the American sense of personal space and was basically reading their book under my nose for more than half the ride.

9:30AM Get to work and NO ONE IS THERE. After freaking out about being late I still beat both my bosses (who live within walking distance) to work. FML.

9:30AM-2:30PM Do an array of bitchwork which blends together into a tapestry so fine and detailed that one cannot ever fully appreciate its intricacy.

2:49PM See my sisters update from LA, where she’s on vacation with my brother, about to try In n Out Burger (I’m best friends with my siblings, so I hate that they’re on vacation without me)

2:50PM While taking notes on a conference call, notice an update from my ex-boyfriend who previously de-activated his Facebook account. He’s joking with one of our mutual friends about how she thought he was lying when he said we broke up. (Sidebar: We never officially broke up; he stopped calling me after he invited me to spend thanksgiving with his family.)

2:51PM Space out and reflect to once again try to understand why he just stopped calling, when he was the one who pushed for us to start dating in the first place.

2:52PM My boss tells me to include that in the conference report. When I admit I missed what it is our client said, she reprimands me (completely within reason and her boss-duties) and I immediately start crying.

2:52:30PM Excuse myself to sob quietly in the empty office beside our conference room. My office mentor comes in and talks to me after about 15 minutes. It’s a good thing she did, I was about to start possibly the biggest weep-a-thon of my life, but I find it difficult to openly cry in front of people because it gets so ugly.

Dawson ain't got nothing on me.

3:00PM My mentor suggests taking a part time job to be able to finance going home more often (fuhhhhhh…)

3:45PM Attempt to explain to my boss why I’ve been so upset but just start ugly-crying again.

3:46PM My boss offers me the next day off, which I don’t take because I’m an idiot who loves torture.

4:00PM Attempt to continue the day with what are now the reddest eyes I have ever had (a compounded effect from my contacts and crying). Having people ask if you have pink eye does not help when you’re in a down mood.

6:30PM Head home on a crowded train and start a candy-n-cry fest all over my room

9:30PM Fall asleep expecting to wake up crazy early and enjoy a nice slow, quiet morning.


9:40AM This time, I did not beat my bosses to work.


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